YEAR 2022
ME SITTING IN MY CABIN IN MY OFFICE, WORKING !
I have been idling away at office for quite some time now. When you are in a managerial position in a Global company, there are only two phases of life in office – meetings and in-between-meetings. I was in one such meeting, randomly browsing the web, when i stumble upon this piece of blog, which turns out to be the first post of my 8 year old son on his blog. I suddenly beam with pride, as my son has followed my legacy of blogging and started so early, unlike his dad. Heavens, he even chose wordpress for his blogs, its got to be in the genes. I have to tell my dear wife, this. She always complains about my son, how he never reads and writes. And even when he writes, its mostly jibberish. Anyways, before calling my wife, i decide to read the post. My wife gets really annoyed when i call her from office , everytime something significant happens like India winning against australia, or the new coffe machine spitting totally crap coffee, or even when a totally hot new girl joins my team. I mean you got to understand me, instead she just makes those angry noises which make me think twice before going home the evening.
Anyways, so i start reading my son’s post.
Ohh, by the way, i excused myself from the meeting i was in. They gave me such a weird look at that. I see in my diary now, that those people were there to discuss their pay scales. Weird.
============================================================================
MY FIRST POST IN WEIRDO WORLD
Posted Nov 21, 2022 by “A Piece of Mirror99” |Edit
Hi,
To all peepal all world…no wait.
To all childs all world…no wait.
To all childs who are not grown up now all world.
I am not righting all this, because i am some righter or something. Frankly, Dad thinks he is some great righter or something. But i have read the comments on his so called blog (i don’t understand it at all, though it was first thing dad showed me when i was birth) and i know, he forces people to read what he rights, and sometimes “bribes” them too. I know “bribes” is that playstation CD that he give me when he don’t want me saying somthing to mom. So, i know Dad no great righter. But he thinks so. And so he thinks i too become great righter. But i am not. But i am righting.
I am very angry today. It is november. And where i live, november is winter. And mom made me bath in the morning at 7am. Frankly, bath taking is a totally useless invention. I got to ask T uncle who invented it. I mean, it is a total useless waste of time and water. I can use that time to complete my game of warcraft. But no, mom says i have to take bath. Today morning, i confronted mom. I said to her, that why do you make me bath everyday when dad does not do so everyday for office. But my mom gave my dad a dirty look, my dad gave me a dirty look, and mom gave me beatings and pushed me into bathroom. I got a feeling, i will get a playstation CD today evening. But i don’t like mom beatings. Bathing is useless.
Then today in school, i was standing in assembly and this dick who was standing next to me, was making a aeroplane and wanted it to fly. But he was making it all wrong. So i took the paper from him, and show him how to make aeroplane and make it fly. The aeroplane landed near principal and she gave me beatings again. She even remembered my name this time and i was impressed by this. But i learn later from my friend, that dick had fooled me. So, i am angry today. He is a big guy. But i not afraid of him. I will make him get beatings also.
Then in class, i did not find my homework notebook. Then i remembered, dad had taken it for noting down scores of the cards-game he was playing with friends. He said “teen-patti” , but dad’s maths is so screwed up. There were 10 pattis in his hand. But my teacher not beleive me. She says, she wants to meet my father. I know this will make dad so happy. Why i don’t know really. But my english teacher also very happy with dad. Last time, only my Dad came to PTA and then Dad and my english teacher totally forgot that they had to discuss my zero in class tests. I was very happy. Dad also gave me a playstation CD that day. He told me , not to tell mom anything. I was happy not to tell mom I got zero.
Also my other friends in class are also not good. They always use me up. In the art and craft class, the guy next to me said his scissors not working. It did not even cut hair. What crap i said. I cut the pony tail of the girl in front of me and said to him, “SEE…” . But the bitch in front complained and i got beatings again. My teacher never believes me. It was a beating ful day, so i was very angry. But in the last class of the day, this girl was teasing me. I was annoyed and i beat her up. And again beatings from teacher. Life is not fair to me in school. Dad showed me this prison movie last summer, and i thought my school resembled the prison in some ways.
After a beatingful day, i came home. I played my favorite video game with my friend. He was about to win the race, so i switched off the system. Then the weirdo started fighting with me. I punched him hard in the stomach and i laughed. But that sissy , went and complained to D aunty. Then my mom was angry and she gave me beatings again. I vowed never to play with the guy again in life and i cried.
But Mom loves me so she came and patted my head and called for dinner. Later i learn that even my mother cheats me. It was broccoli for dinner and she knows i hate it. I glared at mom, but she glared back so i keep quiet. Dad always praises mom for her food. Mom went in to get more broccoli , so i asked,
“Dad, are you afraid of Mom? “
Dad : “No way son”
Me: “Then why did you throw away the broccoli when you said it was good ? “
Mom entered at the precise moment. And then no more broccoli. I was happy. But Dad gave me beatings this time. No Playstation CD. Not a bad day, i thought. Atleast no broccoli. But i am angry still.
Anyways, its 11:00 PM now.
Dad is sleeping like a horse, in the sofa outside. I go and wrap him with blanket. He is a good dad. He gives me playstation CD. He does not fuss about my zero in english and other subjects. Not a great righter. But he makes me laugh…
——————————————————————————————————————————————-
Comments: 5
Dick said : “I totally fooled you in assembly today morning. Beware boy”
Rohit said : “I knew my scissors were working. I so fooled you. That was for you locking me in toliet”
Shital said : “You son of a bitch…you cut my hair. I will screw you”
Neha said : “You moron, tomoorrow i will beat you”
Vivek said : ” Hahaha …i can beat you in NFS any day any time”
============================================================================
I have a frown on my face now.
I think for a moment.And then i add a comment to it,
Dad says : “I am proud of you, my son. And so It was you who gave me the blanket. I got to teach your mom a lesson. And you ,Go kick some ass. Don’t kick mine though. Remember, you still want that latest Playstation8 right?”
Awesome yaar, I am saying this again but ideas kahan se aatain hain aise. And again reminding you, waiting for a sequel for this blog.
Its so sweet and cute…Great idea and don’t fly too high but you are a good “Righter” though you do force people to read your blog… 😉
Keep up the good work..
Being brutally honest..this is your first post in which I read every line and which didn’t bored me anywhere.. 😛
Hmm.. So ASHIM Jr. is also goin 2 entertain me with funny blog posts 🙂 …
U truly r a gud RIGHTER yaar.. I undrstand u gave a gud deal of thought behind many things… Keep going!! wud luv to read a post a day…. coz this office nyway sucks.. its gud to read such funny posts.. 😀
hello ji..
is bar sahi mein hatke haii….
kis dundh mein likha hai….but really idea / creativity / imagination is appreciable…
@ Prashant
You are turning out to be my biggest pankha…
i love you..
But i don’t think a sequel would come..
@ Neha
Thank you soo much..
And yeah forcing people to read my posts , is my market strategy for greater publicity.
@ Akash..
Hmmm…..should i be thankful to you or angry with you for this comment of yours..
Anywz…thanks for sparing time to read..
@ Funnee..
No posts everyday…
it lowers value……
@ SHITAL
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL..
ITS NOT GOOD TO BE SAD WHEN ITS YOUR DAY..
every dog has its day…and today’s yoursss……
eNJOY…. 🙂
Nice man ….really nice …. simlpy awesome !!!
Tht was something
“So, i know Dad no great righter. But he thinks so. And so he thinks i too become great righter. But i am not. But i am righting.”
…………..
” Not a great righter. But he makes me laugh…”
loved it ….
So that is what we would have written if we had started writing at that small a age ! Nice 🙂
Good One Butta
Your kid is very good in English.
Bengali bhi sikhao use.
You getting better and better with time. Seems like you have lots of spare time in GE. Great Imagination of your future. Hope your child do not remain imaginary, may it materializes soon.
Bye Bye
@ Ballu.
Free time is whenever i get even 10 minutes.
Also, i hope i do get kids…
but before that, i do hope to find a good-looking mother..
you know…
Arre get happy dear..it means u r improving.. 😛
Anyways..it’s my personal opinion and I am no critic or scholar..so don’t mind..
Awesome yaar……..it really gud…….
but hey bhabhiji ke aane ke baad bhi eng teacher se chakkar sudhar ja batta…… sudhar ja…….
keeeeeeeeeewl Ashim!!!
So, i read it for the second time today.. and its good.. really!
I don’t know if you force people to read ur blog or not, but this is for sure that u r very worried when people don’t read ur blog 😛
Waise nice work and interesting too 🙂
See, I kept my promise 😛
[…] you. And my husband would easily be the king of all those fools, unanimously. I happened to read my son’s blog 2 months back, and since then, i have been waiting to reply back. And what better way to reply back […]
Though I am 6 months late ……. Awesome Post!!! Wat an innovative idea!! Wat an imagination!!
P.S.: 1. don’t really make your kid to be fooled by everyone 😛
2. I love your writing 🙂
[…] you. And my husband would easily be the king of all those fools, unanimously. I happened to read my son’s blog 2 months back, and since then, i have been waiting to reply back. And what better way to reply back […]
[…] you. And my husband would easily be the king of all those fools, unanimously. I happened to read my son’s blog 2 months back, and since then, i have been waiting to reply back. And what better way to reply back […]
[…] you. And my husband would easily be the king of all those fools, unanimously. I happened to read my son’s blog 2 months back, and since then, i have been waiting to reply back. And what better way to reply back […]
[…] ago, I wrote this post which was a fictional blog post written by my future child. It was a boy I assumed then, but then […]