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Archive for December, 2009

The following is an article my boss told me to write about the cricket sessions we have been every Saturday morning, over the last one month. I wrote something up, but now i am in a moral dilemma, whether i should show this to my team in office or not.

But viewers here do read it at least.

Maybe you all can decide if it can be shown to my boss…

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VCC CRICKET CLUB

More like Very Chaotic Cricket than Validation Cricket Club.


Cricket they say is a game of the gentlemen.

So who were those 12 people who gathered on that playground, that Saturday morning at 7 o clock, with a large bag that resembled a cricket kit, and lots of balls (no pun intended). A few were practicing catches. A few were practicing holding the bat in years. A few were simply yawning, as it was still too too early for them. They were anything, a strange mix of adults ranging from 24 to 48, but gentlemen…. doubtful if you saw them at that instant.


Ok, so that was when we first started playing cricket. By we, we mean, we the HTC Validation Team. India started playing the same game a few centuries back. We somehow lagged behind, what will all the innovation at work, and the deep-technical-help-world stuff, in the labs of our offices. But we did manage to come out in the sun that day. And needless to say, it was a pleasant feeling, at least for the nocturnal team members.


So, that was how the equation stood that morning. 12 members. 2 teams of 6 each. Each member had to field for both teams, needless to say honestly. And so the 12 odd, cranky bones, fidgety legs, nimble limbs got into action, for a game of cricket which they all believed was a big joke anyways. But, men can be competitive i tell you. And men hate losing, they simply abhor it. And the casual cricket game got the better out of them.


Pretty soon, we were cheering (sledging). We were diving to take catches (falling with no clue at all). We were trying to hit sixes (with no idea where the ball was). We were bowling with full speed (with no idea where the stumps were). We were running between stumps (with no idea why to run at all when we can swing bats). And it was pure bliss (chaos theory put to practice). And that was the first match. Loads of fun with a winner too.


Of course there were some totally awesome players, like Abhishek whose balls had the fury of hell and the aim that would embarrass sharpshooters. There was Abhik, who was the best of the swinging-bat-at-ball people. There was Giri, whose leg side pulls made you totally forget there was an offside too. And we also had the Manager, whom we had to bowl over twice, before the play could progress any further. There was Sanjeev, whose shoaib-akhtar-length run-up totally defied his age and a potbelly. We had Chirag, who put his heart out to put speed into his balls.


But then we also had a manager who looked confused; each time the ball came towards him, as to whether he should play cricket or his favourite sport football. The ball however took advantage of his confusion and raced to the boundaries each time. There was Kiran, whose lazy attempts at hitting the ball with his bat, made even the bat yawn out of sheer laziness. And these were bowlers too, bowling at 6-foot wide stumps mostly. Some of the slow balls delivered to confuse the batsmen, were so slow that some batsmen thought of taking a nap before hitting the ball actually. They definitely broke the record of the longest spell by any bowler, thanks to the wides and no-balls. But then there was also a wicket keeper, who had the courage to stand up to these challenges with no protection at all. He took some blows, he fell a million times, but each time he stood up and continued with the game.


There were visitors too, i guess. Like the guy who climbed on top of the coconut tree to have a top-view of our wonderful game. Even the kids who were scampering across the field in pure enthusiasm. And the buffaloes too, though they didn’t disturb us much. The matches were interesting for various reasons. The drinks at the end were refreshing enough.


And after 4 hours of play, we return back to our homes, with aching limbs and dirty clothes, to the regular non-happening life.

Now run a loop of 1 to 3, and run the entire above thing for 3 iterations, and we have now got a team which can surely take on the Indian Cricket Team.

We would lose of course, by a huge margin too, but that’s not the question here.


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YEAR 2022
ME SITTING IN MY CABIN IN MY OFFICE, WORKING !

I have been idling away at office for quite some time now. When you are in a managerial position in a Global company, there are only two phases of life in office – meetings and in-between-meetings. I was in one such meeting, randomly browsing the web, when i stumble upon this piece of blog, which turns out to be the first post of my 8 year old son on his blog. I suddenly beam with pride, as my son has followed my legacy of blogging and started so early, unlike his dad. Heavens, he even chose wordpress for his blogs, its got to be in the genes. I have to tell my dear wife, this. She always complains about my son, how he never reads and writes. And even when he writes, its mostly jibberish. Anyways, before calling my wife, i decide to read the post. My wife gets really annoyed when i call her from office , everytime something significant happens like India winning against australia, or the new coffe machine spitting totally crap coffee, or even when a totally hot new girl joins my team. I mean you got to understand me, instead she just makes those angry noises  which make me think twice before going home the evening.
Anyways, so i start reading my son’s post.
Ohh, by the way, i excused myself from the meeting i was in. They gave me such a weird look at that. I see in my diary now, that those people were there to discuss their pay scales. Weird.

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MY FIRST POST IN WEIRDO WORLD
Posted Nov 21, 2022 by “A Piece of Mirror99” |Edit

Hi,

To all peepal all world…no wait.
To all childs all world…no wait.
To all childs who are not grown up now all world.
I am not righting all this, because i am some righter or something. Frankly, Dad thinks he is some great righter or something. But i have read the comments on his so called blog (i don’t understand it at all, though it was first thing dad showed me when i was birth) and i know, he forces people to read what he rights, and sometimes “bribes” them too. I know “bribes” is that playstation CD that he give me when he don’t want me saying somthing to mom. So, i know Dad no great righter. But he thinks so. And so he thinks i too become great righter. But i am not. But i am righting.

I am very angry today. It is november. And where i live, november is winter. And mom made me bath in the morning at 7am. Frankly, bath taking is a totally useless invention. I got to ask T uncle who invented it. I mean, it is a total useless waste of time and water. I can use that time to complete my game of warcraft. But no, mom says i have to take bath. Today morning, i confronted mom. I said to her, that why do you make me bath everyday when dad does not do so everyday for office. But my mom gave my dad a dirty look, my dad gave me a dirty look, and mom gave me beatings and pushed me into bathroom. I got a feeling, i will get a playstation CD today evening. But i don’t like mom beatings. Bathing is useless.

Then today in school, i was standing in assembly and this dick who was standing next to me, was making a aeroplane and wanted it to fly. But he was making it all wrong. So i took the paper from him, and show him how to make aeroplane and make it fly. The aeroplane landed near principal and she gave me beatings again. She even remembered my name this time and i was impressed by this. But i learn later from my friend, that dick had fooled me. So, i am angry today. He is a big guy. But i not afraid of him. I will make him get beatings also.

Then in class, i did not find my homework notebook. Then i remembered, dad had taken it for noting down scores of the cards-game he was playing with friends. He said “teen-patti” , but dad’s maths is so screwed up. There were 10 pattis in his hand. But my teacher not beleive me. She says, she wants to meet my father. I know this will make dad so happy. Why i don’t know really. But my english teacher also very happy with dad. Last time, only my Dad came to PTA and then Dad and my english teacher totally forgot that they had to discuss my zero in class tests. I was very happy. Dad also gave me a playstation CD that day. He told me , not to tell mom anything. I was happy not to tell mom I got zero.

Also my other friends in class are also not good. They always use me up. In the art and craft class, the guy next to me said his scissors not working. It did not even cut hair. What crap i said. I cut the pony tail of the girl in front of me and said to him, “SEE…” . But the bitch in front complained and i got beatings again. My teacher never believes me. It was a beating ful day, so i was very angry. But in the last class of the day, this girl was teasing me. I was annoyed and i beat her up. And again beatings from teacher. Life is not fair to me in school. Dad showed me this prison movie last summer, and i thought my school resembled the prison in some ways.

After a beatingful day, i came home. I played my favorite video game with my friend. He was about to win the race, so i switched off the system. Then the weirdo started fighting with me. I punched him hard in the stomach and i laughed. But that sissy , went and complained to D aunty. Then my mom was angry and she gave me beatings again. I vowed never to play with the guy again in life and i cried.

But Mom loves me so she came and patted my head and called for dinner. Later i learn that even my mother cheats me. It was broccoli for dinner and she knows i hate it. I glared at mom, but she glared back so i keep quiet. Dad always praises mom for her food. Mom went in to get more broccoli , so i asked,
“Dad, are you afraid of Mom? “
Dad : “No way son”
Me: “Then why did you throw away the broccoli when you said it was good ? “
Mom entered at the precise moment. And then no more broccoli. I was happy. But Dad gave me beatings this time. No Playstation CD. Not a bad day, i thought. Atleast no broccoli. But i am angry still.

Anyways, its 11:00 PM now.
Dad is sleeping like a horse, in the sofa outside. I go and wrap him with blanket. He is a good dad. He gives me playstation CD. He does not fuss about my zero in english and other subjects. Not a great righter. But he makes me laugh…

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Comments: 5

Dick said     : “I totally fooled you in assembly today morning. Beware boy”

Rohit said   : I knew my scissors were working. I so fooled you. That was for you locking me in toliet”

Shital said  : “You son of a bitch…you cut my hair. I will screw you”

Neha said   : “You moron, tomoorrow i will beat you”

Vivek said : ” Hahaha …i can beat you in NFS any day any time”

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I have a frown on my face now.
I think for a moment.And then i add a comment to it,
Dad says : “I am proud of you, my son. And so It was you who gave me the blanket. I got to teach your mom a lesson. And you ,Go kick some ass. Don’t kick mine though. Remember, you still want that latest Playstation8 right?”

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