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Archive for March, 2009

Now, i happen to read this book, “You are here” , on a particularly ironical train journey ( the irony will come out later ), and i came across this particularly interesting piece of her book…

… behind their sprawling houses, lavish lifestyles and Porsche convertibles , lay a sad truth. Each of these people , used to being told by their parents from early infancy how wonderful they are, needed the same kind of bond with their friends. If it didn’t , they spent their whole life desperately forming obsessive emotional attachments, which would ultimately be detrimental to their social development. That’s a nasty thing to say. …On the other hand, i must admit that there is a grain of truth to it all….   “

And being the only child to my only parents, it got me thinking. Is it the truth. Is my life too caught up in the same vicious cycle mentioned above, or is it just some random observation of some psyched up writer who himself hasn’t been sure about his own life as much as the life of others.

You see, i have always loved my friends far more than they loved me, and though sometimes i do get a certain disappointed , i always thought that perhaps that was just the way i was, that it was my role on this planet, to be more loving than loved, to give more happiness than to get myself.

I have some very good friends, and i am really proud of them. I have T whom i can trust for all matters. I have D , who will bear all my nonsense, cursing me in her mind, but still giggling at the end of it all and saying , “idiot ho tum”. I have R whose advice when it comes to some real decisions i always prefer. And then i also have DEE, my world-best sis , who knows it all about me, and to whom i can go for anything at all as a best friend. And then i have a whole lot of cool friends, with whom i love to talk, to hang out, who may not know me in the same intimate ways as DEE,T, D or R, but am still proud of them nevertheless.

All my friends are  a mixed lot, and i suppose they all like me a whole lot,most of them anyway, but i don’t think they love me in quite the same way as i love them. And so , sometimes a slight from them, is like betrayal for me. Maybe that’s what the writer meant by “detrimental social behavior”.

Now, the thing is , that’s who i am. That can be controlled, but that cannot be changed. The point is, what exactly  is the reason behind such a character. Is it mere human nature , perhaps a bit unique one, or is it the result of some special upbringing, where being the only child in a nuclear family does make you so as you grow up.

I personally , am the only child to my parents, and we live thousands of kms away from my other brothers and sisters of our great family. And so, the importance of relationships was known to me at a very early age. Emotional attachments were made with several people, some turned out to be best friends, some more than friends, and some just faded away. There have been times when i have hated every relationship, and there have been times when i have loved all relationships. But since there haven’t been much people to turn to in the family itself, it always resulted in my loving my friends in a much more intense way, than they loving me.

So you see, that’s a very odd perception i have got of my friends. I think a lot of people out there , will agree to me. And for all my friends, i would want you to think of this, once for yourselves and then once for me. For i would like to see your perceptions.


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