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Archive for November, 2009

The following is a conversation (one of many on the same topic), which i had with my mom, just the other day. I just wanted to share the words with you and see if you can possibly relate to it, maybe find more moms like this.
I take out my cell(N73 mind you), dial the top most number on my dialled numbers list, the phone rings …..tring tring…
MoM: Heylo

Me: Hi, Wassup ?

MoM: What was that again?

Me: Ok, Hi! How are you?

MoM: Am fine. The same old boring life you know. What are you doing?

Me: Oh, am just returning home from office. Too much work at office these days you know. Deadlines have to be met
and…

MoM: …and obviously you have been partying around when you should have been working and now you have  to stay late and work.
Me: It’s not late MoM, its only 11 pm now. More than an hour to midnight. And we anyways have dinner at midnight. You see, dinner at midnight is actually auspicious in a way.

MoM: OK , Don’t act smart with me. Did you have your dinner?

Me: Is my voice clear on that side? I just said am returning  home from office.

MoM: Duh!! You gonna eat out again or you gonna cook now? Don’t eat out so much. It’s not good for you.

Me: I think we gonna cook something up. I don’t eat much outside.

MoM: I know what you eat and how you love eating out. Anyways, are your roommates back yet? What are you gonna cook?

Me: Ok, mom..stop! I haven’t even stepped into the home. God knows, whats going on inside. Will answer this tomorrow ,ok?

MoM: Do as you wish! Remember, there’s no one there to take care of you.

Me: I know that. (regretting the call now). Can we talk something else. After a tiring day at office, you don’t help much.

MoM: Ok, So where were you over the weekend? You were supposed to call.

Me: Ohh…weekend eh? Friday night i went for a movie with friends. 2012 you know, end of the world and stuff.

MoM: I thought you said, you had work?

Me: Yeah, but that was friday night, and all my friends were going?

MoM: So when did you return?

Me: Umm…lets see…around 2am ( Scratching head to come up with an appropriate time , it was 3 am when i had returned)
MoM: Aah..am fed up of you and your late night parties. 2am you said?

Me: It was not a party. Just a long long movie.

MoM: Duh??

Me: Ok, so i overslept till noon on saturday. Then we had lunch around 5. Then i wanted to call you , thought would do that at night, but went to a friend’s place and stayed till late.

MoM: What friend??

Me: Ok, i went to supriya’s place. She called. I went. (I can’t tell her of the  drinking party, and supriya’s place is the safest place in Hyderabad. Oh, btw, sup is my very old school friend, so you see…trust and all )

MoM: Tell me, do you smoke?

Me: MoM???

MoM: It’s pretty cool. I mean you might just do it for maaroing style, in front of those girls of yours.

Me: I don’t have any girls of “yours”.

MoM: yeah, yeah, i know…thats what you said in college too. And each time you came back home, you had a new girl to talk about.

Me: First of all, i did not have a different girl each time. And secondly MoM, they were all friends of mine.

MoM: Accha, then what of those heartbreaks?

Me: Ok, not all of them were friends…so what?

MoM: Speaking of which, what’s that girl doing these days….you know who?

Me: I don’t wanna talk about her, you know that.

MoM: Hehe, its fun teasing you.

Me: (totally irritated now) Are you done then?

MoM: Ok , sorry. So what else? Any girls you going around with these days?

Me: No One, there’s none in hyde.

MoM: Does that mean you have girls outside Hyde. Is that the reason you went to Delhi for 4 days, last time you came here.

MeMoM……noooo. No girls anywhere. I went to see Rajat , you know that. Wanna talk to him?

MoM: Yeah, do give me his number. Also i called your friend Tauseef.

MeAnd i know what you asked him.

MoM Hehe, ok so at this supriya’s place?…were you alone with her?

Me: No, she has 2 room mates and a friend too, a Bengali mind you and before you start over, i don’t like Bengali
girls.

MoM: I know that. So these other 2 girls, how are they?

Me: MoM, i know what you are getting at. The answer is No, i am not hitting at them.

MoM: You know, you are a useless guy, can’t get one girl for yourself in what 2 years now.

Me: It’s actually 1.5 years, and i am happy the way i am.

MoM: You are wasted, you know that? Tell me, do you drink…soemtimes maybe? Does supriya drink?

Me: (Almost crying).…..Noooo Mom, i never even go near drinks. And supriya’s a nice girl. Mom, please maaf kar do.

MoM: Hmmmmm

Me: And why don’t you set me up with some girl. Surely there must be some beautiful girl of some of the many
useless friends you got back there.

MoM: Why should i? You find a girl for yourself. Next thing, you’ll curse me for setting you up with this totally wrong girl.

Me : Oh, i won’t…promise, i won’t. Set me up? Give me a phone number or just an email-id. I will take care of the rest.

MoM: Isn’t your home reached yet?

Me: Am at home already.

MoM: So, go and eat something first you moron. Girls can wait for you.
Me: Am so going to be a single ready to mingle guy for my entire life, ain’t i ?

MoM: Hehe, Yeah totally. Now put the phone down. And yes, before sleeping , please recharge my phone with 100 rs, through your internet thing. I need to talk to some relatives back home.

Me: Duh, didn’t i do it last friday itself?

MoM: yes, but you didn’t call me over the weekend. And i had to talk to someone.

Me: Mommmmmm

MoM: Go and eat something. Good night and Buh-Bye.

Me: Hmmmmm

Me..thinking….aajkal ki mummiyan.
Mom..thinking…aajkal ke bacche…

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“The first time, they say, is always special.
The first time, they say, is always memorable.
The first time, they say, is the best.”

 

Once upon a time, when i had just entered college for the first time. It turned out to be a year of “lots of firsts” . The first time i had given JEE , the first time i had cleared JEE(and am not proud of it at all, i sincerely think i could have done better things is life, like become some artist/painter/writer and earn millions in one shot). Also it was the first time i had to go out of my home in 18 years and live in a hostel for 4 years. So you see a lot of first, and some were totally unexpected.

Now, the first semester in college is generally a strange one. It’s like we have being promoted from school to college now. So, its like all of a sudden we have being given total freedom , to which most of us are not really accustomed to. In fact, in the first semester, its home that we miss most, in spite of the fact that home gets synonymous with a prison of gold when compared to college. So you see, most of us are like this complete bunch of losers in the first semester, getting up early in the morning, taking an unnecessary bath, and then forming a queue to visit places like the hostel mess and the classroom. We obviously learn to win soon. While in our hearts, we all just wish to get back home , at the first vacation possible.

So, one such vacation, i am back at home. All excited about college and answering the curious questions of parents and relatives , which makes you feel like you have just returned from a trip to the amazon, without food or water. And then an exhausted me, decides to take a stroll down the streets which i have missed for some 3-4 months now.

My house is a rather shady place, perched up on the first floor, with a narrow stairway leading to it, which has been the site of numerous accidents for everyone who has attempted to climb it up. We generally advise the old people not to attemp to climb it. The kids generally, we go and pick them up from the bottom and bring them up with us. The others are advised to climb at their own risk. So, as now i wanted to visit the neighbourhood streets, a lot to the amazement of curious neighbours who have been wondering where has this boy been who has been the local terrorist of the nighbourhood…i get down the stairs, pretty quickly (am now an expert in it).

So i come to this verandah below, where the neighbour’s kid (more of the infant kinds) is playing. The verandah itself is not so heavily guarded, with just a not-so-high brick wall around it and a not-so-high iron gate at one end. As a kid, i never quite understood the reason behind those walls. Even as a very small kid, i could find it quite easy to jump over the walls and so did the other animals of the neighbourhood, you know..the multi-coloured stray dogs, the agile cats and of course the other kids of my gang. It almost became a habit so much so that the presence of a locked iron gate hardly mattered, much to the annoyance of the neighbour.

But now i was a grown up. I mean i was in college you see. In a few years, i would be doing what i am doing right now( that is writing about old times in my office hours, on my office PC, where i am supposed to work for which i am to get paid at the end of the month). So i was now a more responsible local boy in my own eyes. So i suppress the temptation of jumping over the wall somehow, and decide to take the gate itself. I am sure my neighbour would have blessed me for it. Anywz, so i open the gate, get out (trying not to make much noise, i had almost no experience with iron gates), and just when i am about to close the gate behind, this little creature who had been playing in the verandah for some time now comes up to me and said…

” Can you please open the gate for me ……….uncle ?? “

I look deep into the eyes of the kid.

“The gate….Uncle….??”

More stern glances and lots of silence.

“Uncle…….?????????  “.

Next i turn around and close the door, cursing the kid under my breath.
“Why don’t you just climb the wall your dad built ?”….i said, and walked away from the scene

“The first time, they say, is always special.
The first time, they say, is always memorable.
The first time, they say, is the best.”

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A year ago, i charlie-brown-sighcame to office. It was GE, not that its significant to the story, or even otherwise. GE is somehow always thought of that great bulb making company, whose bulbs can be seen nowhere around us. But believe me , Bulbs is not the only thing it makes. Ok, am getting carried away. So where was i ? Yeah, so a year ago, i joined this office.

Now its a totally guy thing, so all of my audience should take no offence whatsoever. So, the first thing that any NORMAL guy does when he gets into office( or for that matter any place where there are lots of people of different species), is scan the premises for the species called girls (better known as chicks in the ABS i.e. the ALL BOYS SOCIETY ), and then categorize them into sub-categories which go by different names which i won’t delve into as i am sworn by an oath of total secrecy by the ABS. Ok, so i am again deviating from the topic.

So where was i ? Yes, i was in a meeting. I was totally bored and was scanning the vicinity for chicks (only because I am fascinated by the “why did the chicken cross the road?” question and I feel the way to get to the bottom of the mystery is by watching chicks…after all they say catch ‘em young). Ok, Bad joke maybe, but not what next i saw. I was sitting next to the white screen on which the projector was throwing some light. And i was craning my neck to see the white screen, more so because my manager was sitting right in front of me expecting me to do or say something, than out of curiosity. But it was a frantic effort and my neck was paining now, so i just decided to sit straight and see whatever was down the long table. AND there she was.

There she was across the long meeting table. In an ocean blue dress, she looked like some demi-god or something. (OK, i don’t remember the colour of the dress she wore that day, but i insist on blue so just take my word for it). With wide eyes, she was watching  the big white screen intently. For a moment our eyes met, but then she quickly glanced away. I couldn’t help a smile, as she put the end of the pencil she was holding , in her mouth and continued staring at the white screen. It was that precise moment that i fell for her, totally head over heels.

The meeting ended, and i was all curious to know, what this girl was. But she, it seemed had disappeared suddenly in some corner of the office, and i being the new guy in office didn’t really venture much. I was waiting to see her next. A week passed, and then there was the team meeting again. And there she was. In a beautiful green dress. Big green and silver earrings. A silver bangle sorta thing in her wrist , as she sat with her pencil and notebook, taking notes for the meeting. In between, she would take a sip of water from the nearest bottle and then promptly resume her work. I just loved it. Her handwriting was neat and mostly illegible as it was so small. But i loved it too. I found it difficult to concentrate on the manager’s speech as i was too distracted. She would look into her mobile from time to time, her curious eyes waiting for something on it. And i loved it too. She spoke less, and i even wondered if she was hired only to take notes. Her big eyes and her warm lips, didn’t give away much. And i loved it all.

Time flew like anything and very soon i was no longer a Newby in office. But when it came to her, i was still nervous like the kid who has just had his first kiss. The only details i had figured out about her, were where she sat in office, where she lived outside office and when was the day she came into the world. Some more research also, taught me where she belonged to, even the name of her school. But i was still far away from talking to her, forget knowing her. Of course, we met sometimes in our ways, our eyes met for a few moments but soon drifted apart, leaving behind a smile on my face and a sigh in my heart. Don’t really know what it did to her. But a year into office, i was still at ground zero. As a guy, who had dated several girls, and who had never had any problem talking to any girl, she certainly overwhelmed me.

Some more time flew. I could only let out a sigh, when i saw her in office. Sometimes in that black and red polka-dotted saree, sometimes in her white top and blue jeans, and mostly in her exclusive salwars and kurtis, i swear she looked gracious in whatever she wore(Ok, maybe she looked a bit fat in jeans, but was just awesome in all other attires, especially the pink saree she wore on traditional day) I even saw her once outside office, crossing the street with her friends. She turned around to look at me, and i swear my heart skipped a beat right then. She was laughing with her frndz, and her smile didn’t disappear when she saw me, and i swear that one of the best smiles i had ever seen in life. With her large eyes, her lips just added to the glow that her face seemed to radiate. Or maybe it was the street lamp behind her, but whatever.

And then, came the day when she announced her marriage to the team. It was one of the most disappointing day of my life. I didn’t go to eat the sweet she brought, although i knew that could very well be the face to face talk that we never had. But i wanted my heart back. And i knew it was broken. The next few days, i didn’t confront her much, except in the stairways where she could be found spending time with her mobile phone. Time was flying, and i knew there was nothing much to be done. And then one night, i finally had that talk that we never had.

I was at my sister’s place, far away from office and the city. It was 2 am and i couldn’t sleep much. So i came up online, and don’t know somehow, said a hi to an online her. What followed next was mostly a ramble of words, which i didn’t even know made much sense. But i am pretty sure, i delivered the message i wanted to deliver. Did i convey my feelings properly or not? For that i would have to dig up that chat from my mailbox’s history. But i cursed myself for not really allowing this chat to happen one year back. And that was my last thought as i slept a peaceful sleep that night.

That was all the past. Since then, she has now left the company. Gone to some far away land, and is now happy with someone else. Of course, i couldn’t be more happier for her. She still comes online on my friends’ list. I smile quietly when i see her. But that’s about all i do. At least i got a story out of it.  And then you know, there’s this other girl who has just come into the company ….

NOTE: The whole story above might be missing in details and also might be a bit exaggerated. So don’t really jump onto me. Girls, you can love me. Boys, don’t bother please.

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There’s something abausielloblinditem_lout life,and about mankind in general , that intrigues me deeply. I can’t lay a finger on it and say , what it is, but i know it’s there. Often not so dignified or note-worthy , but it’s still there all the time. Now there’s this thing i have come to believe in over the course of my last few years, that we as the mango people, “aam-aadmi” as they say, come across other mango people in our day-to-day lives. Each of us, has a story of our own, and then when we meet others, their stories get mixed up with pur stories, to create new stories and the game goes on. More like ripples on the surface of a lake. Some such stories go on to become great stories, which we read in books and try to get a lesson or two from, and in turn get connected to a lot many other stories. Others just disappear amidst thousands other such stories, never quite affecting many stories. But nevertheless each of those stories which build and vanish each day, are great in themselves , and often more learning in itself than the big stories. For i have always believed that you learn more from the common man than the people who have already achieved greatness.

 

Now, there are many intriguing things that life throws at us. Love is definitely one of them. And i am not talking about just romantic love, which i know is the first thing that comes to our mind. I am talking about all forms of love. Brothers and sister, fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, uncles and nephews, and of course friends. And i find it highly intriguing, often mystifying. Because, we as the mango people that we are, are always in search of love. When the new year ball drops, we comment on each other,”how lucky they are to have someone to kiss at midnight”. When valentine’s days arrives, we comment on each other,”how lucky they are to have someone to give a rose to”. And when Raksha Bandhan arrives, we again comment on each other,” how lucky they are to have a sister who loves them”. But then, when we do have that love, we never feel satisfied. Often take it for granted. And often don’t value it for what is, and instead go out in pursuit of something greater. The love they always search for, is right there, besides them. Yet they often choose to ignore it. Now isn’t it most intriguing?

 

Success is one more thing that eludes me. For people today run after success like stray dogs running after cars. It’s a mad race, and one in which we hardly stop to think , about our bearings at all, even the direction in which we are moving. Of course there is no planned approach to success for that would be ridiculous. There are just the ingredients you know, for a recipe you still need to prepare. But when in the process, how many of us even think of what they are doing. I see people around me , coming to work each day at the same time, working diligently the whole day and giving their best shot to whatever comes their way, in hopes of getting that elusive “success” in future. We sacrifice good food, good living, for “success”. We even tend to forget friends, parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents on our way to success. Of course we buy them gifts when we visit them once a year. But the race to success continues. The question here is, is that what is needed for success? And even if that’s what is needed really, who are we going to share the “success” once we get it. The world they say is pretty crowded at the bottom, but then it gets pretty empty at the top. Now isn’t that most intriguing?

 

Now another thing that also beats me totally is lost love. Love is of course the most beautiful thing in the world. When you are in love, everything around you is beautiful. You feel like you can conquer the world, if only you have your love by your side. But LOVE i believe is also the most destructive thing in the world. For a lost love can turn a person insane, break him down more than any possible weapon, hurt him in places where it pains the most, and there is no ground breaking cure for it. I have seen some of the strongest(mentally) of people , cry like kids in front of me for a love which had tricked them, for a love which was pure and yet not worthy. And i had nothing to say to them. And belive me, thats the worst feeling i had ever. And that made me wonder again. What is it about love that makes it the most lethal weapon , which can create the world as well as destroy the world , all in one sweep. Isn’t that most intriguing?

 

Ofcourse there are many other trivial things in the world which are very intriguing as well. Like alcohol and how its the best painkiller in the world. Like how people can commit suicides. I myself have tried cutting my hand on more than one occasion, mostly out of sheer curiosity and i have never been able to press the cold knife though my hand. Personally i belive eating a whole bottle of sleeping pills is the best way to commit suicide. Painless and effortless, of course you must lock yourself properly first. But thats not what we are discussing right now.

 

That brings me to the most intriguing thing i have felt. Its DEATH. It’s like the most inevitable and natural thing in our lives and yet we wonder, conduct research and do meditations just to know the whole truth behind it. Personally i think it’s a amazing thing, this thing called death. No, am not pessimist or anything. Also am no philosopher. But think of it once and you will realize how awe-inspiring thing it really is. Just a minute ago you are alive, all breathing and talking and eating and stuff. Just a minute after, you are lifeless, no more breathing , no more talking, no more eating. Isnt it just intriguing. It’s like “THE-END” you see at the end of a movie. It’s like “pikchar khatam, ab aur pickchar nahi bachi”. No more of worldly things to worry about, of love, of success, of office, of wether you should have told the girl in college you loved her, of whether you should have talked her back to love you, of whether you should have made your will , of whether you should have made love to your wife one last time or not, of whether you should have eaten your favourite chocolate one last time, of whether you should have treated your parents better, or whether you should have invested in satyam shares or not and made a fortune, or whether you should have gone to the strip club once in life. I mean none of it is no longer there to worry about.

 

And that i find the most intriguing of all.                                                                                                                                                           Isn’t it ??

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