ORANGES AND LEMONS

Well, to get a good perspective of this attempt at story-telling of mine, i would prefer if you go through the earlier story-parts written by me a few years back. I tried to pick up the same characters and continue from where I left.

A  STORY  LITTLE  LESS  ORDINARY – PART 6

A  STORY  LITTLE  LESS  ORDINARY – PART 5

A  STORY  LITTLE  LESS  ORDINARY – PART 4

A  STORY  LITTLE  LESS  ORDINARY – PART 3

A  STORY  LITTLE  LESS  ORDINARY – PART 2

A  STORY  LITTLE  LESS  ORDINARY – PART 1

NOTE: All characters in this story and the previous stories are fictional. They have no resemblance to any one single person. I would however like to thank all those, whose life-stories i used to create my own story. But it is all dramatically modified and may not indicate the true state of situations and people.

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She started making letters on the coffee table, with the powdered sugar that he had spilled all over the table. First she made an A. Then a S. Then a M. Then other such alphabets. He on the other hand, just sat across her, observing her, trying to look into her eyes which were focused on the table. He wanted to see in her eyes. He wanted to know the truth in her eyes. But she kept making those stupid alphabets, playing with the sweetener spilled on the table. He started getting irritated a bit. Angry too perhaps. “Why you doing this?”, he suddenly said. “What?”, she looked up finally and said. “Not what you are doing to me, why you doing this with the sugar?”, he said. “If you are getting bored hearing me say nonsense, you might as well just get up and leave. I won’t mind at all. I’ll settle the bill and go away too. You wanna eat something one last time?”.

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3 years had passed by since the last heartbreak that Dan had. 3 terribly painful years of his life. He had gone from being a man-on-top to a man who had to take anti-depressant and sleeping-pills to make him sleep at nights. He had gone from being a supremely confident man to a man who could not trust anybody now, the least being himself. He had lost his air of confidence, his flamboyance, his ability to bring out the best in himself and others almost at will, and a lot of other things. 3 years it had taken him to shake Lily off his head. 3 years it had taken him, each of which year seemed to bring out all the old memories of Lily and haunt him till death.

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It had only been in the last 6 months that he had been able to discover his own remains in his own ruins. He had started gaining back his confidence. He had started gaining his attitude and a much cooler one now. He had started getting his mental peace back. For the first time in 3 years, he spent more than a month, not looking at Lily’s pictures, or reading her old messages. For the first time in 3 years, he felt that Lily was now a phase that was long gone and that her pictures were sepia-tinted like some very old memories. And for the first time in 3 years, he had finally gone into Rehabilitation. It was one month of Rehab, without any alcohol or drugs whatsoever. He had been forced to do it by his best friend Robin, but for the first time in 3 years, he actually felt like doing that.

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That was when he had met Vanessa. Vanessa who joined the organization with him, was one of the girls whom no one noticed when she joined. There were other girls more charming to the eye when she came in. Dan did look at those girls at one glance. He even tried talking to them. But there was no willingness in his heart. He was too involved in his own memories, which were killing him slowly and steadily. He didn’t care much. Death to him seemed peaceful. But he knew, he wouldn’t die. He knew that at heart.

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As time passed, Dan developed a friendship with Vanessa. As time progressed, he developed a fondness for Vanessa. It was all unknowingly, unwittingly, without any intentions and without any pretences. He never realized that he was able to pour his heart out to this strange girl whom he had befriended. That he was able to confess things to her, which otherwise ate his heart from the inside. That he was able to speak about his past to this crazy girl, which he hadn’t been able to speak to many. He never realized that he was getting comfortable around her. That he was making her a part of his life. That he had started caring for her. And That he was making the same HUGE MISTAKE once again.

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He was making the same mistake once again. He had learnt from his past, not to do that. Never trust anyone with yourself, he had told to himself the last time. Never give your unconditional love to someone who didn’t realize its importance, he had learnt that painfully. And yet, he was making the same mistake again. Once again, he was harboring thoughts of love. Once again, he wanted to trust someone. Once again, he was getting ready to hurt himself.

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And that was what he did exactly. One fine day, Dan told Vanessa that he loved her. That it was she, who had made a difference in his life, which had been meaningless for the past 3 years. That it was she, who let him get over his past. That when he talked to her, he wanted to keep talking to her forever. That when he was with her, he wanted to just be there forever. That he would give up everything just for that. Just to keep talking to her. Just to be with her. Just to feel safe around her. Just to feel the warmth that her presence exuded, to escape from the coldness that meant her absence. And that, was the mistake he did.

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For the past 2 hours that day, he had been trying to let out those feelings in front of her, in the coffee shop. She just hadn’t thought of Dan in the same way. She didn’t feel about Dan the way she wanted to feel. Dan just smiled. He knew in his heart, that there was nothing called feelings of love. That’s just a fancy word for expressing love. Love, which is but just a feeling of mutual appreciation and respect, just the comfort that two people draw from each other and don’t want to lose. And he smiled more. He laughed at himself for making the same mistake once again. He laughed at himself for he had repeated the same mistake. He had yet again, hurt himself and this time quite knowingly.

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As Vanessa sat across the table, making alphabets out of spilt sugar, he realized, that it’s so easy for you to love someone, but it’s so difficult for you to get someone who loves you. While life hands out lemons to us, we always go out in search of oranges. And then when the oranges turn out sour, we don’t have the lemons any more. The lesson to be learnt was, make lemonade when life gives you lemons, make orange juice when life offers you oranges. Try making orange juice from lemons, and you destroy it all.

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“I think, I need to go back now”, Vanessa said softly. Dan paid the bill and they got out. It had been raining outside the whole time. Dan never realized that. He never realized anything on time. Dan and Vanessa finally parted ways, never to cross paths again. This time, he couldn’t smile any more.

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