CONFESSIONS OF AN INNOCENT ADMIRER…

A year ago, i came to office. It was GE, not that its significant to the story, or even otherwise. GE is somehow always thought of that great bulb making company, whose bulbs can be seen nowhere around us. But believe me , Bulbs is not the only thing it makes. Ok, am getting carried away. So where was i ? Yeah, so a year ago, i joined this office.

Now its a totally guy thing, so all of my audience should take no offence whatsoever. So, the first thing that any NORMAL guy does when he gets into office( or for that matter any place where there are lots of people of different species), is scan the premises for the species called girls (better known as chicks in the ABS i.e. the ALL BOYS SOCIETY ), and then categorize them into sub-categories which go by different names which i won’t delve into as i am sworn by an oath of total secrecy by the ABS. Ok, so i am again deviating from the topic.

So where was i ? Yes, i was in a meeting. I was totally bored and was scanning the vicinity for chicks (only because I am fascinated by the “why did the chicken cross the road?” question and I feel the way to get to the bottom of the mystery is by watching chicks…after all they say catch ‘em young). Ok, Bad joke maybe, but not what next i saw. I was sitting next to the white screen on which the projector was throwing some light. And i was craning my neck to see the white screen, more so because my manager was sitting right in front of me expecting me to do or say something, than out of curiosity. But it was a frantic effort and my neck was paining now, so i just decided to sit straight and see whatever was down the long table. AND there she was.

There she was across the long meeting table. In an ocean blue dress, she looked like some demi-god or something. (OK, i don’t remember the colour of the dress she wore that day, but i insist on blue so just take my word for it). With wide eyes, she was watching  the big white screen intently. For a moment our eyes met, but then she quickly glanced away. I couldn’t help a smile, as she put the end of the pencil she was holding , in her mouth and continued staring at the white screen. It was that precise moment that i fell for her, totally head over heels.

The meeting ended, and i was all curious to know, what this girl was. But she, it seemed had disappeared suddenly in some corner of the office, and i being the new guy in office didn’t really venture much. I was waiting to see her next. A week passed, and then there was the team meeting again. And there she was. In a beautiful green dress. Big green and silver earrings. A silver bangle sorta thing in her wrist , as she sat with her pencil and notebook, taking notes for the meeting. In between, she would take a sip of water from the nearest bottle and then promptly resume her work. I just loved it. Her handwriting was neat and mostly illegible as it was so small. But i loved it too. I found it difficult to concentrate on the manager’s speech as i was too distracted. She would look into her mobile from time to time, her curious eyes waiting for something on it. And i loved it too. She spoke less, and i even wondered if she was hired only to take notes. Her big eyes and her warm lips, didn’t give away much. And i loved it all.

Time flew like anything and very soon i was no longer a Newby in office. But when it came to her, i was still nervous like the kid who has just had his first kiss. The only details i had figured out about her, were where she sat in office, where she lived outside office and when was the day she came into the world. Some more research also, taught me where she belonged to, even the name of her school. But i was still far away from talking to her, forget knowing her. Of course, we met sometimes in our ways, our eyes met for a few moments but soon drifted apart, leaving behind a smile on my face and a sigh in my heart. Don’t really know what it did to her. But a year into office, i was still at ground zero. As a guy, who had dated several girls, and who had never had any problem talking to any girl, she certainly overwhelmed me.

Some more time flew. I could only let out a sigh, when i saw her in office. Sometimes in that black and red polka-dotted saree, sometimes in her white top and blue jeans, and mostly in her exclusive salwars and kurtis, i swear she looked gracious in whatever she wore(Ok, maybe she looked a bit fat in jeans, but was just awesome in all other attires, especially the pink saree she wore on traditional day) I even saw her once outside office, crossing the street with her friends. She turned around to look at me, and i swear my heart skipped a beat right then. She was laughing with her frndz, and her smile didn’t disappear when she saw me, and i swear that one of the best smiles i had ever seen in life. With her large eyes, her lips just added to the glow that her face seemed to radiate. Or maybe it was the street lamp behind her, but whatever.

And then, came the day when she announced her marriage to the team. It was one of the most disappointing day of my life. I didn’t go to eat the sweet she brought, although i knew that could very well be the face to face talk that we never had. But i wanted my heart back. And i knew it was broken. The next few days, i didn’t confront her much, except in the stairways where she could be found spending time with her mobile phone. Time was flying, and i knew there was nothing much to be done. And then one night, i finally had that talk that we never had.

I was at my sister’s place, far away from office and the city. It was 2 am and i couldn’t sleep much. So i came up online, and don’t know somehow, said a hi to an online her. What followed next was mostly a ramble of words, which i didn’t even know made much sense. But i am pretty sure, i delivered the message i wanted to deliver. Did i convey my feelings properly or not? For that i would have to dig up that chat from my mailbox’s history. But i cursed myself for not really allowing this chat to happen one year back. And that was my last thought as i slept a peaceful sleep that night.

That was all the past. Since then, she has now left the company. Gone to some far away land, and is now happy with someone else. Of course, i couldn’t be more happier for her. She still comes online on my friends’ list. I smile quietly when i see her. But that’s about all i do. At least i got a story out of it.  And then you know, there’s this other girl who has just come into the company ….

NOTE: The whole story above might be missing in details and also might be a bit exaggerated. So don’t really jump onto me. Girls, you can love me. Boys, don’t bother please.